When I started learning in the Academy, I found out his name was Uchiha Sasuke.

He was flawless and perfect, that much graceful and angelic - seemingly inhuman - as if he belonged to a parallel universe.

I suppose I was the only one who saw the occasional 'mask of coolness' drop.

They say eyes are the windows to the soul, and ever so often I'd see his eyes brimming with the most mournful sadness and pain, as if he was actually vulnerable and imperfect for once.

But as soon as I saw them they would be gone, replaced with an emotionless expression that graced his face daily.

-

I found out about his past through Kiba's brainless ramblings from time to time.

Then I understood him more.

I knew how it was like to feel alone and abandoned, and I wanted so badly to help.

I wanted to see him actually smile and grin, maybe even laugh or shout - anything, anything at all to remove that pain from his face - because it was so familiar and I did not want anyone to go through the same things I was going through.

I even thought I was the only one...until I found him.

-

I found out that he could actually smile, one sunset not too long ago.

He was sitting on the wooden platform thing that overlooked the river, and I was on the hill above, walking past.

Curious, I stared down - and he happened to look back.

My first instinct was to snort, make a face and turn around; no doubt he did the same thing as well.

But as soon as that was over, I smiled.

He looked at me.

-

I found out we would be in the same team when we graduated from the Academy.

By this time I had a sense of logic, and we were always head to head - arguing, fighting, you name it, we had done it.

I would be lying if I said I hated the team selections.

So instead, nothing will be said -

Because everything can be felt.

-

I found out he actually cared on our first mission, when he defended me.

I had never been so scared and angry in my life, when I thought he had gone.

The only thought going through my mind was -

Don't leave me, please, don't go.

-

I found out we were happy together after a while.

Me, Him and Sakura-chan.

Everything was perfect, but perfection never lasts.

-

I found out he was leaving on a night so grey that the darkest storm would be envious.

I ran as fast as I could, wishing, hoping, believing so hard he wouldn't leave, it was a lie, all a lie.

If you leave me, I have no one.

-

I found out he still hurt inside, as much as I used to.

Screaming, tears, hurt, power - so much power used against when it could be used together.

Flashback, and we were still kids, so young and so innocent - once happy.

It hurts, can't you feel what I feel?

-

I found out he cared.

Amidst the pouring rain, our exhaustion and my unconsciousness - somewhere there, he stayed for a while.

I didn't die, nor did he.

But something in our hearts did - between us was distance, confusion, hurt and so much unspoken words that were threatening to burst out of their seams.

Why didn't you kill me?

-

I found out that even if he wasn't by my side anymore physically, he was always with me in thought, in heart and in spirit.

I trained for him, lived for him, continued on being happy for him -

Because somehow I knew, he'd want me to.

He'd want me to continue being happy, to forget about him, to live on -

But I'm sorry Sasuke, I can't do that without you.

-

Maybe yesterday I didn't manage to find you, maybe today I won't be able to either, or even tomorrow -

But I will never give up, not until I find you -

Because when I found you,

I finally found myself.

-

END.